Monday, March 9, 2009

Gilligan & Buddies on "Obama Isle"

The news is getting so awful I have to step back and have a light hearted moment here. So today I'm going to demonstrate how the crew and passengers from that zany show, Gilligan's Island, would fair if they had landed on Obama Isle.

So, Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic shore aboard this tiny ship...

Let's start with the Skipper. The poor Skipper, being a small business owner, soon discovers that Obama views him as the money making machine which keeps the island operating. The Skipper's taxes rise to 39.6%, plus he has to pay all of his, and half of Gilligan's, FICA tax and healthcare benefits. Never mind the new carbon tax that The Minnow is going to cost him. When the Skipper pleads "But I work 90 hours a week and put most of my money back into the business, AND I create jobs for others", Obama scoffs at the Skipper's utter selfishness before heading off to lunch at the beach bar to enjoy a nice weygu steak sandwich and a Corona.

Gilligan. Obama loves Gilligan. He immediately gets some union thugs to coerce the sorry boy into signing on, and "Poof!" He gets a pay raise, a full pension, and lifetime healthcare benefits, along with the stipulation that he does not have to work outside of the contract. When the weather starts getting rough and the tiny ship is tossed, well, that's the Skipper's problem. Gilligan soon gets used to this great new deal, and ACORN registers him and his imaginary friend Gary as Democrats.

The Professor. Being a liberal elite intellectual from an Ivy league school with no practical knowledge but lots of great ideas, The Professor is definitely "in" with Obama. Obama uses him as his front man for all policy making (as he personally has no clue) and puts him to work 24/7 to find a way out of their little problem of being stranded. The Professor is, however, definitely not cool enough to be invited to parties at the Island White House.

Ginger. Ginger, as a Hollywood starlet, is definitely the "It Girl" and is invited to every White House party. However, when she breathily sings "Happy Birthday, Mr. President", Michelle, who has been holding in her contempt for the dumb redhead, jumps her, and a cat fight ensues. It's Friday night Smack Down at the White House! With her toned arms and big booty, the smart money is on Michelle.

Thurston Howell III and wife, Lovey. Obama's first order is to send tax cheat Tim Geithner to hunt down Thurston's gazillions of dollars hidden in secret Swiss Bank accounts. When the Swiss don't comply, Thurston is put under Hut Arrest, whilst the wheels of the legal system turn ever so slowly. No matter, Lovey is there to comfort him, and fill him in on the island goings on as their savings are depleted in the tumbling Obama stock market.

Mary Ann. Hailing from the midwest and chock full of good traditional American values, Mary Ann does not like what she sees happening on on the Island. She's disgusted with Gilligan for betraying The Skipper and foregoes making him any more coconut cream pies. Instead, she puts her perky talents towards protesting Obama's new rules and holding Tea Parties which only the Skipper and Lovey attend. Obama soon clamps down on the dissent and sends pesky Mary Ann to pry abalone shells off of the rocks at low tide.


Kathy said...

Love it! Thanks for the laugh!

G.A.Rowe said...

I would be ROTFLMAO except that this is so close to the truth it is scary.

Hmmmmmm? MadMom as Mary Ann? Interesting, Verrry interesting.

Mad Mom said...

Didn't even think of that GA Rowe. LOL!

Tom S said...

Get a life! Don't you ultra conservatives have anything better to do then bash on someone? You can't you hope/pray for the best and move on with your life! To quote FDR, "A few TIMID people, who FEAR progress, will try to give you new and strange names for what we are doing. Sometimes they will call it " Fascism", sometimes "Communism", sometimes "Regimentation", sometimes "Socialism". But, in so doing, they are trying to make very complex and theoretical something that is really very simple and very practical."
So stop being scared and move stop being so negative!

Mad Mom said...

Me thinks Tom S doth protest too much. Please sit down and breath deeply before stroking out over my satirical blog post. Obama's healthcare plan will not allow for stroke victims to receive that expensive anti-clotting drug, tissue plasminogen activator, and I would be forever guilty should they have to pull your plug.

Tom S said...

First off I don't protest, I think it's pointless, also I'm not some liberal like you probably think, just someone who is very informed and make up my own mind. I bet you think you know everything about Obama's heathcare plan, and everything in his stimulus plan too. Well I'd put money on it that you don't. You probably know, or think you know, what people like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh tell you. I'm not trying to put you down, and I apologize if I came off that way, but just listen, and actually listen, to both sides first, then figure out what you think is best. Most conservatives think it's their way or no way, and same with some liberals. We need people who are willing to budge, and from the what posts on here I could stomach, you don't seem to be someone who is willing to budge even an inch.

Mad Mom said...

Tom S, Read "About me" dear heart. I study more information every day from articles and blogs on both sides of the fence from around the world than you could ever imagine. And having worked in biotechnology for 20 years, with a husband in medicine, along with friends and relatives who live in countries with socialized medicine, I've got a lot of background knowledge on which to base my hypotheses about Obama's proposed healthcare plans. And it ain't good news.
As for my ultra-conservativism, you are dead wrong. I'm a fiscal conservative, social liberal. Heck, at parties, I'm a gay guy magnet.

Emily said...

You go, Mad Mom! Tom obviously confuses "scared" with angry. We are supposed to be good little sheep and let Obama work his magic, right?
Just so you know, Tom, and as much as I hate to admit it, I thought Obama was pretty awesome for a while there. Then I got the facts and realized that he wasn't the moderate he made himself out to be.
So, we are not a bunch of mindless Rush-loving zombies. I didn't like Bush, and don't agree with everything conservative radio says. I am just sick and tired of government digging deeper and deeper in my pocket and using that money for welfare handouts and pork projects.
I'm just speaking for myself here.

G.A.Rowe said...

Tom S;

I am the only real "Ultra Conservative" that hangs out here, and believe me that Rush is way too much of a liberal for my tastes. FYI - FDR had card carrying Communists in his cabinet, and he was not the architect of his "New Deal". He was also VERY unfaithful to his wife. Had we rode out the storm of the first Great Depression we would not have needed to enter WW2 to save our economic butt. What your illustrious "Obummer" is doing is exactly what he feels like doing. He has lied through his eyeteeth just to get elected, now he is shoving his socialist agenda up our rectums. Barack Hussein Obama and his wife are admitted Marxists. In case you haven't read "The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx, a Marxist is one who believes in the ideals and ideas of Karl Marx. Get your head out of the sand, young man, and if you are really one who thinks for himself, then do the background research on your Socialist Idol aka "OH-Bummer The Magnanimous" and his Liberal/Socialist/Communist/Democrat Party and their heinous agenda for the subversion of the United States of America. The truth is out there, all you have to do is open your eyes and look for it.

grandmatoemma said...

LOVED your explanation of our country's situation in terms that even an ignorant Democrat might be able to understand. Keep up the good work and the laughs!

undertaker said...

For Tom S:
A Short Paragraph by Dr. Adrian Rogers
> What a profound short little paragraph that says it all!!!
> "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
> ~~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931 - 2005 ~~~~~