Saturday, January 3, 2009

Obituary: Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a class mate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but couldnot inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Author Unknown

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mad Mom,
While I agree with this article 99% from the Unknown Author, I must disagree with the section on the "senseless woman who spilled a little Hot coffee on her lap and was awarded a large sum of money". The actual court documents have shown that McDonalds had internal memos concerning the purchase of less than desirable and cheaper coffee beans. And in order to make that coffee palitable to the consumer, they elavated the temperature higher than they should have making it dangerously hot in order to mask the bad flavor. This was an intentional directive from management. That is why McDonalds was punished and the award so high. Lest we not forget that the press likes to sensationalize every thing without ever presenting the facts on every article they print. I agree that we have too many people that sue others or companies in order to make themselves financially solvent without actually earning it. And too many law firms chasing the golden calf of riches so that they can line their own pockets. But we must realize that not everyone is like that. I'm just making a point here. Almost everyone I talk to about that incident has no understanding of what actually went on behind the courts actions. And keep up the great articles here - a worthwhile website!!

Greg B.